What exactly is normal anyway? I've been thinking about this a lot lately, hoping that my life will soon return to "normal." So many things have happened lately to turn my life upside down, I wonder if anything will ever be normal again. I don't even want to get into all the details of what's happened - it's too depressing. It seems like this whole year has just been one bad thing after another, without enough time to recover from the previous bad thing before the next bad thing happens. I'm just hoping that things will settle down, that the things that happen from here on out won't be so bad. I feel like I'm picking up the pieces of what's left of my crumbling life. It seems like whenever I start to think that everything is going to be okay again, something else happens to make me realize that things will probably never really be okay. And it seems like the bad things that are happening just keep getting worse and worse. I'm scared. It's like I live in constant fear of what the next bad thing will be. Is that normal? I don't think so, but it's becoming my normal. That isn't good.
Some things are starting to happen to make me think that things are starting to get better. I actually have a few really good, exciting things to look forward to (more on that later.) But it seems like whenever I look forward to something, I'm only met with disappointment. So I have to keep reminding myself not to get too excited about things. That's pretty sad, isn't it? And definitely not normal.
So what can I do? How can I not live in fear all the time? How can I let myself get excited about things without expecting disappointment? I don't know how to do that. That's not normal either.
So what is normal? I'll let you know when I find out.
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