Wow

I can't believe it, but it's been one year since I got to meet Rob Rowe! That sure went by fast. It seems like it was forever ago, but yet it doesn't feel like it's been that long. It was a night I'll never forget. One of the best nights of my life. I hope I can see him again sometime...

That is all.

New Rob Rowe interview

I just thought I'd share this interview that Rob Rowe did last week with Jesse Richman at Makeup for the Silence. It's really good! 

Part 1:
http://www.makeupforthesilence.com/post/84943300515/cause-effect-its-over-now-from-trip-rob
 

Part 2: 

http://www.makeupforthesilence.com/post/85047577990/whitewaits-blackbird-spies-from-an-elegant

And Part 3:

http://www.makeupforthesilence.com/post/85141078200/whitewaits-lost-boys-from-an-elegant-exit-rob

Absent

I've been a little absent from here lately. I just realized that I haven't posted anything since December. For those of you that read my blog and hang on my every word, I apologize. To both of you.

A lot of my problem is that I have trouble thinking of stuff to write about. My life is really pretty boring. So since everything is usually the same, I figure you don't want to hear about what I bought at the grocery store, or about how much laundry I did. You're welcome.

Another problem I have is that sometimes I just don't feel like doing anything. As in nothing. I get like that once in awhile. I think it's part of my depression. So I wallow and cry and hate myself for not doing anything, but I still can't make myself do anything. I know. I'm nuts. When I get like that, even the tiniest, easiest things seem like so much. So I do what absolutely has to get done (ie. get out of bed, go to the bathroom) and that doesn't usually include blogging.

Something else that keeps me from writing is the fact that a lot of times I don't think about it until like 1:00 in the morning, and I should probably go to bed instead of spending another hour blogging about my boring little life.

So there you have it. I know I've said this before. I'll try to blog more often. I want to. I really enjoy it. I like being able to vent about things and not care who sees it. Nobody knows who I am. And probably nobody really cares. But it helps. And I can use all the help I can get.

Until next time. (Which hopefully won't be very long) :)

Hi

In case you were wondering, I'm still here. I've just been in the middle of a little nervous breakdown so I haven't felt much like writing. 

I Googled "nervous breakdown" a few weeks ago because I wanted to see if that's what's happening to me. Sure enough, it is. Even though it isn't an officially recognized medical problem, a nervous breakdown is where basically you feel like you just can't take anymore. 

Of anything. 

Hello. 

That's me. 

You don't feel like doing anything or going anywhere, and the littlest, seemingly harmless things can just push you over the edge. I've been feeling like I'm at the end of my rope, and the rope is unravelling and I'm hanging onto the very last threads of it with my fingernails. That's what I've been going through these last few months. I've sort of been falling apart.

So I just wanted to let you, my vast blog-reading audience, know that that's where I've been, and hopefully I'll feel like writing more often soon. I just need some time to put myself back together. 

I'm getting there.

Thanks for reading.

I never thought

I just had another birthday. I think I've mentioned how it's kind of like New Year's for me. More so than the actual holiday. It's like a new beginning. A time of reflection and renewal.

This year has been one of the most emotional years I think I've ever had. So many horribly awful things have happened, with a couple of amazingly wonderful things mixed in...

I never thought that death could ever come so close into my little world as it has. I never thought I could be so sad over losing a pet. I never thought that death would turn my whole world upside down by taking my Grandpa. I never thought depression could be *this* bad. I never thought I could be so afraid of what the future holds. I never thought that I'd get to interview Rob Rowe from Cause and Effect. I never thought that I'd ever get to see him play live again. I never thought that I'd ever get to meet him. I never thought I would have a nervous breakdown. I never thought that I'd make it to this birthday.

All in all, I'm glad to say good riddance to 38. Hello 39. You are going to be a year of living it up. I'm hoping it will be a year of living like I've never lived before. I really want to try. This might be my last chance. Because next year I will be old. :)

Treasures

Husband and I are getting ready to have a yard sale. We are trying to go through the whole house and find anything and everything we can get rid of. We have 14 years of accumulated stuff together. Or maybe I should say *I* have 14 years of accumulated stuff. Most of it is mine. I'm not a hoarder, let me make that clear. I just love to shop and I have a hard time letting go of things. I'm much better than I used to be with the shopping. I hardly buy anything anymore. But I get too sentimental with things. Things have associations that go with them. Memories. Feelings. So this has been pretty hard for me. I've had a few meltdowns over the stupidest things. I've also had a couple of meltdowns with good reason.

Today we were going through some boxes that we had never unpacked when we moved into our house. Four years ago. I saw something in one of those boxes and just started bawling. It was something that my Grandpa had made. He died 4 months ago. I thought I was over it. I mean, I guess you never get over something like that, but I thought I was okay. I guess not. I miss him so much. More than I thought. I'm not sure how to get through this. Things we see can bring back memories of fun times we had and loved ones we've lost. Memories I'll treasure forever.

I found more treasures today. Inside one of the boxes was a folder that I had been looking for for several years. I had even gone back to my parents house and dug around in my room for it without any luck. And there it was today. Inside a forgotten box in the corner. 

This folder contains my very first correspondences with Rob from Cause and Effect, as well as some other stuff that belongs in my C&E collection. These things mean so much to me. I knew I had them somewhere. It was driving me crazy trying to figure out where they were. There are emails from Rob from 1996, copies of articles about Cause and Effect that I got from a record rep, and things from the fun part of my radio career. So many good memories. It was so fun going through the folder and being like "oh, there it is! I remember that!" I cried again, but this time it was happy crying. I'm so glad I found that folder.

Things and the associations we have with them are powerful. They can take you back to times you want to remember forever, or they can take you to places you never want to go back to again. They can dig up all sorts of memories and feelings.

I wonder what treasures I'll find tomorrow...

Album review: Whitewaits "An Elegant Exit"

I feel like after all the raving I’ve been doing lately about Rob Rowe and his new album, it would only be fair for me to give it a proper review. Now, I'm not a music reviewer, not a writer, and not enough of a music nerd to be able to talk too intelligently about all the little details, but I definitely know great music when I hear it. And I’m really not biased at all, even though I am probably Rob’s biggest fan. If this wasn’t a great album, if I didn’t absolutely LOVE it, I wouldn’t even take the time to write a review. But it’s definitely worth my time to tell you about it. And it’s definitely worth your time to listen to it. Besides, the album is only 33 minutes long. We can all spare that much time to enjoy some great music, can’t we?

So here is my review of WHITEWAITS “An Elegant Exit”
 

“An Elegant Exit” takes you on a musical journey. It evokes a wide range of emotions. After I finished listening to the album the first time, my first thought was “Wow!” And I was crying. I've never had that kind of a strong emotional reaction to an album before. You can tell that Rob really poured his heart and soul into making this album. It’s deeply personal and full of raw emotion. You can hear it in his voice. You can feel it in your soul.

I've always been a big lyrics person. That's what I focus on first whenever I hear a new song. Rob's lyrics have always touched my soul. I’ve always found comfort in them. I've said this before, that his lyrics have a way of putting my feelings into words when I just can't do it. This album is no different. The lyrics are meaningful, thoughtful, and sometimes heart wrenching. They’re so descriptive and powerful. They're about something. So many of his lyrics have a wisdom to them that can only come from experience - from someone who has been there.

I absolutely love Rob’s voice and it is just incredible on this album. Not that it’s not incredible on his other albums, but I think he sounds better than ever on this one. His voice is very rich and full. The vocals are clean and clear and not over-processed. And they stand out perfectly against the music. They’re not buried under the mix like I hear so often with other music. Excellent production and mixing.

The music itself plays such an important part in evoking all those emotions I was talking about earlier. Rob’s melodies are always so perfect. They stick in your head. In a good way. Not in that annoying way when you get a song stuck in your head and it drives you nuts. It always amazes me how one person can write so many songs, yet each one is so different. There are so many layers of sound with so many different textures. It’s the perfect mix of acoustic and electric guitar and Rob’s assortment of analog synths. There are all sorts of really cool sounds to keep your ears busy. I really appreciate that attention to detail. Maybe it comes from my background in audio production, but I just love extra little touches like that. And as always, it's much better when listened to with good quality headphones.

You really need to listen to the whole album straight through in order to get the feel of it. It takes you on a journey. It tells a story. I can't quite put what it is into words, but if you listen to it and really try to feel it, you'll get it. Listen with your soul. You'll feel it.

If I had to list the songs in order of favorites, I don't think I could. They are all equally great. I tried to arrange them in some kind of order from favorite to least favorite, but I just couldn't do it. And really, there is no such thing as "least favorite" when it comes to any of Rob's music. They are all favorites. There's something different that I love about each song.

Island is a great way to start off the album, and it’s also the first single. If you read my interview with Rob, you know that it was inspired by a trip he took to Iceland. Knowing this, you can totally see it when you listen to the song. There are supposed to be remixes coming soon. I can’t wait to hear them!

I love Hope Is The Hardest. Even though I was pretty disappointed by the bad language, (2 little f-bombs) it is still a great song. The last line is one of those that just gets to me; makes me cry. "You're not alone so hang on to hope my dear." That was just what I needed to hear the first time I heard it. And this track features some excellent drum programming.

Always is the sweetest, most beautiful song I’ve heard in a long time. It just might be pushing “Alone” out of its almost 20 year position as my all-time favorite song. If this had been around 14 years ago, it probably would have been our wedding song. “…please be with me always, especially on dark days when I might lose my mind.” Gorgeous.

Blackbird Spies - I absolutely adore this song. It became one of my favorites the second I heard it. I love the melody. It just makes me smile. And Rob sounds extra amazing on this one.

The Way Back is probably one of the catchiest songs I've heard in a long time. It’s energetic and upbeat. The lyrics are great. The vocals are great. It makes me want to dance around the house like a dork. It seems to me that it would be very radio-friendly. If I was programming a radio station, I’d play it. (Although, duh, you know I’d play all of them!)

Two of the most upbeat songs on the album lead into what is probably one of the saddest, most heartbreaking songs I've ever heard, Ventolin. If you know Rob's story, you will understand what this song is about. The last line, "You killed me too," produces chills and tears every time I hear it.

Down - The vocals on this one are amazing. There's so much going on. Lots of different layers. I love listening to it loud! It’s about breaking it all down and starting over. “Let go, embrace the beginning again...”

Lost Boys is a little sad at first, but leaves you feeling hopeful at the end. It’s the perfect way to end a perfect album. “I once had the thought I was lost, but I lost it somehow.”

My only complaint about this album is that it's just not long enough. It’s only 33 minutes. It's over too fast. It always leaves me wanting more at the end. I usually listen to it 2 or 3 times in a row just to feel like I’m getting enough. But hey, if that’s my only complaint, it must be pretty good, right?

“An Elegant Exit” has already made an elegant entrance into my heart. It became a favorite the first time I listened to it. Rob Rowe has proven again that he is truly a gifted and talented musician. There’s something really special about his music. I hope this review helps people to realize that.

Thanks for reading. Now go buy the album! (whitewaits.bandcamp.com)