Treasures

Husband and I are getting ready to have a yard sale. We are trying to go through the whole house and find anything and everything we can get rid of. We have 14 years of accumulated stuff together. Or maybe I should say *I* have 14 years of accumulated stuff. Most of it is mine. I'm not a hoarder, let me make that clear. I just love to shop and I have a hard time letting go of things. I'm much better than I used to be with the shopping. I hardly buy anything anymore. But I get too sentimental with things. Things have associations that go with them. Memories. Feelings. So this has been pretty hard for me. I've had a few meltdowns over the stupidest things. I've also had a couple of meltdowns with good reason.

Today we were going through some boxes that we had never unpacked when we moved into our house. Four years ago. I saw something in one of those boxes and just started bawling. It was something that my Grandpa had made. He died 4 months ago. I thought I was over it. I mean, I guess you never get over something like that, but I thought I was okay. I guess not. I miss him so much. More than I thought. I'm not sure how to get through this. Things we see can bring back memories of fun times we had and loved ones we've lost. Memories I'll treasure forever.

I found more treasures today. Inside one of the boxes was a folder that I had been looking for for several years. I had even gone back to my parents house and dug around in my room for it without any luck. And there it was today. Inside a forgotten box in the corner. 

This folder contains my very first correspondences with Rob from Cause and Effect, as well as some other stuff that belongs in my C&E collection. These things mean so much to me. I knew I had them somewhere. It was driving me crazy trying to figure out where they were. There are emails from Rob from 1996, copies of articles about Cause and Effect that I got from a record rep, and things from the fun part of my radio career. So many good memories. It was so fun going through the folder and being like "oh, there it is! I remember that!" I cried again, but this time it was happy crying. I'm so glad I found that folder.

Things and the associations we have with them are powerful. They can take you back to times you want to remember forever, or they can take you to places you never want to go back to again. They can dig up all sorts of memories and feelings.

I wonder what treasures I'll find tomorrow...

Album review: Whitewaits "An Elegant Exit"

I feel like after all the raving I’ve been doing lately about Rob Rowe and his new album, it would only be fair for me to give it a proper review. Now, I'm not a music reviewer, not a writer, and not enough of a music nerd to be able to talk too intelligently about all the little details, but I definitely know great music when I hear it. And I’m really not biased at all, even though I am probably Rob’s biggest fan. If this wasn’t a great album, if I didn’t absolutely LOVE it, I wouldn’t even take the time to write a review. But it’s definitely worth my time to tell you about it. And it’s definitely worth your time to listen to it. Besides, the album is only 33 minutes long. We can all spare that much time to enjoy some great music, can’t we?

So here is my review of WHITEWAITS “An Elegant Exit”
 

“An Elegant Exit” takes you on a musical journey. It evokes a wide range of emotions. After I finished listening to the album the first time, my first thought was “Wow!” And I was crying. I've never had that kind of a strong emotional reaction to an album before. You can tell that Rob really poured his heart and soul into making this album. It’s deeply personal and full of raw emotion. You can hear it in his voice. You can feel it in your soul.

I've always been a big lyrics person. That's what I focus on first whenever I hear a new song. Rob's lyrics have always touched my soul. I’ve always found comfort in them. I've said this before, that his lyrics have a way of putting my feelings into words when I just can't do it. This album is no different. The lyrics are meaningful, thoughtful, and sometimes heart wrenching. They’re so descriptive and powerful. They're about something. So many of his lyrics have a wisdom to them that can only come from experience - from someone who has been there.

I absolutely love Rob’s voice and it is just incredible on this album. Not that it’s not incredible on his other albums, but I think he sounds better than ever on this one. His voice is very rich and full. The vocals are clean and clear and not over-processed. And they stand out perfectly against the music. They’re not buried under the mix like I hear so often with other music. Excellent production and mixing.

The music itself plays such an important part in evoking all those emotions I was talking about earlier. Rob’s melodies are always so perfect. They stick in your head. In a good way. Not in that annoying way when you get a song stuck in your head and it drives you nuts. It always amazes me how one person can write so many songs, yet each one is so different. There are so many layers of sound with so many different textures. It’s the perfect mix of acoustic and electric guitar and Rob’s assortment of analog synths. There are all sorts of really cool sounds to keep your ears busy. I really appreciate that attention to detail. Maybe it comes from my background in audio production, but I just love extra little touches like that. And as always, it's much better when listened to with good quality headphones.

You really need to listen to the whole album straight through in order to get the feel of it. It takes you on a journey. It tells a story. I can't quite put what it is into words, but if you listen to it and really try to feel it, you'll get it. Listen with your soul. You'll feel it.

If I had to list the songs in order of favorites, I don't think I could. They are all equally great. I tried to arrange them in some kind of order from favorite to least favorite, but I just couldn't do it. And really, there is no such thing as "least favorite" when it comes to any of Rob's music. They are all favorites. There's something different that I love about each song.

Island is a great way to start off the album, and it’s also the first single. If you read my interview with Rob, you know that it was inspired by a trip he took to Iceland. Knowing this, you can totally see it when you listen to the song. There are supposed to be remixes coming soon. I can’t wait to hear them!

I love Hope Is The Hardest. Even though I was pretty disappointed by the bad language, (2 little f-bombs) it is still a great song. The last line is one of those that just gets to me; makes me cry. "You're not alone so hang on to hope my dear." That was just what I needed to hear the first time I heard it. And this track features some excellent drum programming.

Always is the sweetest, most beautiful song I’ve heard in a long time. It just might be pushing “Alone” out of its almost 20 year position as my all-time favorite song. If this had been around 14 years ago, it probably would have been our wedding song. “…please be with me always, especially on dark days when I might lose my mind.” Gorgeous.

Blackbird Spies - I absolutely adore this song. It became one of my favorites the second I heard it. I love the melody. It just makes me smile. And Rob sounds extra amazing on this one.

The Way Back is probably one of the catchiest songs I've heard in a long time. It’s energetic and upbeat. The lyrics are great. The vocals are great. It makes me want to dance around the house like a dork. It seems to me that it would be very radio-friendly. If I was programming a radio station, I’d play it. (Although, duh, you know I’d play all of them!)

Two of the most upbeat songs on the album lead into what is probably one of the saddest, most heartbreaking songs I've ever heard, Ventolin. If you know Rob's story, you will understand what this song is about. The last line, "You killed me too," produces chills and tears every time I hear it.

Down - The vocals on this one are amazing. There's so much going on. Lots of different layers. I love listening to it loud! It’s about breaking it all down and starting over. “Let go, embrace the beginning again...”

Lost Boys is a little sad at first, but leaves you feeling hopeful at the end. It’s the perfect way to end a perfect album. “I once had the thought I was lost, but I lost it somehow.”

My only complaint about this album is that it's just not long enough. It’s only 33 minutes. It's over too fast. It always leaves me wanting more at the end. I usually listen to it 2 or 3 times in a row just to feel like I’m getting enough. But hey, if that’s my only complaint, it must be pretty good, right?

“An Elegant Exit” has already made an elegant entrance into my heart. It became a favorite the first time I listened to it. Rob Rowe has proven again that he is truly a gifted and talented musician. There’s something really special about his music. I hope this review helps people to realize that.

Thanks for reading. Now go buy the album! (whitewaits.bandcamp.com)

"An Elegant Exit"

Check this out! You can pre-order the new WHITEWAITS album, "An Elegant Exit" now. It will be officially released on August 13th on CD and Digital. If you order it now, you'll get a code to download three songs.

I was able to download my copy of the full album today because I contributed to Rob's Kickstarter campaign. He sent out a download code this morning. I've already listened to the album 4 or 5 times.

Let me tell you

IT'S AMAZING!!!

I know I use the word "amazing" to describe just about everything that Rob has ever done, but there is not a better, more perfect word. That I know of anyway. Maybe I should invest in a thesaurus. Anyway, it is a really good album. I find it a little too short for my taste (33 minutes) but it's a 33 minutes well spent. The first time I listened to it, I was bawling afterward. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. It's *that* good. I'll give a more proper review later, but for now, I want you, my vast audience, to get on your computers and order this album. It's priced very reasonably and worth every penny (or whatever kind of money you have where you live.)

whitewaits.bandcamp.com

Dream come true

I finally feel like I have some of my thought processes back after last Saturday night. I was so overjoyed that I seriously could not come up with the words to express myself.

Saturday afternoon, we (Husband and I) went for a drive to explore Hollywood and to see where the party was, find places we could park, etc. We had quite the adventure getting there, but that will be in another post. We found where we needed to go and a few options for parking.

All day long, I was experiencing every possible emotion I could think of. Happy, excited, nervous, joyful, scared, even terrified. Those more negative emotions come from my deep sense of insecurity about myself. I'm so shy around people, I'm way too self-conscious about how I look, I'm incredibly socially awkward until I'm comfortable being around the people I have to be around. I'm just a big dork. But at least I know it and acknowledge it, right? And the good, positive emotions are pretty much self explanatory, aren't they? Duh! I was going to finally get to meet Rob!!!

When it was time to leave the hotel, we headed out on our planned route, but had to make some changes due to traffic problems. Again, more on that later. It's a story in itself. I was freaking out because we didn't know where we were, it was getting dark, and I was absolutely terrified that we would be late and miss the whole thing. I was praying the whole time we were driving that we wouldn't get lost and that we would get there on time and not miss anything. I was so scared I was crying. This meant so much to me and to maybe miss out on it just because of some stupid traffic was more than I could bear.

Thankfully, we found our way out of the traffic mess and got to where we needed to be. We found a parking lot that cost $10 to park, which normally I wouldn't have done, but I'm going to see Rob. I don't care how much the stupid parking costs! The parking was on Hollywood Blvd. near Vine. The party was at Hemingway's Lounge which was a couple of blocks away. I did a lot of things I wouldn't have normally done that night. Like walk down Hollywood Blvd. at night. I wasn't even scared. It actually seemed pretty safe. And I was going to see Rob!!! Nothing could have stopped me! :)

We got to Hemingway's and there weren't any people outside. It was 8:45. The party started at 9:00. Everything I had seen advertising the party said to get there early because space was limited. I was wondering if everyone was already inside? Was it already full and we couldn't go in? There were a couple of guys standing near a door, so I asked them. One guy said Hemingway's didn't open until 9:00, so to just wait a few minutes. Which meant.... WE WERE FIRST!!! Holy cow! I couldn't believe it. After all of the problems we had getting there, we were first? Wow!

We stood there outside Hemingway's, looking at all the people milling about, when I heard something that just made my heart melt. It was Rob. He was inside rehearsing. I could hear him! He was right there on the other side of that wall! I lost it. I was so happy I started to cry. He was right there. So close. The excitement really hit me hard then. This was real. This wasn't a dream. This was going to happen. This thing that I have wanted for most of my life was finally going to happen. In just a few minutes, I was going to get to see Rob perform and then meet him.

A few other people had lined up behind us by then. It was 9:00. The door guy came out and was joking with us about how we were at the wrong place. He was pretty funny. He looked really scary - leather, studs, piercings, handcuffs. He looked like Hulk Hogan. But he was hilarious and really nice. He undid the velvet rope (yes, there was a velvet rope - this is Hollywood, remember) and finally let us in.

We walked into Hemingway's. I wasn't totally sure where to go, but I opened a door and went in. The room was really small. There were a few people already inside. Probably people that worked there or something. And. Then.

I.

Saw.

ROB!!!

He was right there talking to some people! Rob and I were in the same room! He was right there! I could not believe it. I thought he'd be hiding away somewhere until it was time for his set, but he was right there! We stood nearby, so I could talk to him when he was done talking to these other people. We looked around at the decor, trying to act casual. It's a really cool place. Not very big. Like a big living room. It was full of cement bookshelves with books on them that were glued in place. One wall had a bunch of old typewriters hanging on it. There were just a few places to sit. Some sofas, tables, etc. Very intimate.

Enough about the decor.

I could see that Rob was finished talking to those people and...

Heading

Towards

Us!

He came up to me and said, "Hi." He reached out his hand, I shook it, and he pulled me in for a hug. I introduced myself to him, and he said, "I know who you are." No way! He recognized me? That was so totally cool!!! I could not believe it. Rob knew who I was! Wow! I introduced him to Husband, and we stood there and talked for a few minutes. We were talking to Rob! I know I might seem way too excited here, but remember, I have wanted to meet him since the first time I laid eyes on him 20+ years ago. I think you'd feel the same way if it happened to you.

He asked us how our trip was, and how long it took to get to LA. He was thrilled that we would come all that way just to see him. We talked a little and then it was time for him to get ready to do his set. His guitar and mic were set up already and there was an empty seat directly in front of where he would be! Guess who plopped her bum there? That's right. Your's truly. Husband squoze in next to me. We were right there in the front, in the seats closest to Rob! Things could not have gone better!

He was AMAZING! As usual. If you've heard me rave about how great he is live, sorry, but I'm going to do it again. Rob sounds absolutely incredible live. Perfect. I've never seen anyone - including some bigger, more well-known artists - that sound as good as Rob does live. His voice is just beautiful. And it was an acoustic set, which meant just his voice and his guitar. It could not have been more perfect. Sitting there with Rob singing probably less than 10 feet in front of me, I felt like I was the only one there. Like it was all for me. Everyone else just disappeared. Words cannot describe what I was feeling. It was an absolutely amazing experience.

He did "Sleep," "Alone," "Hope is the Hardest," "The Way Back," "Island," "She Said," and "It's Over Now." I had my iPod and Husband had the video camera. I managed to take 2 videos before I got the "20% of battery remaining" warning on my iPod. Ugh! I think in all the excitement, I forgot to charge it! Stupid girl! Husband got the whole set on the video camera though. The only thing is, it was really dark. They did not have good lighting. You'd think they would have some sort of light on Rob while he was singing, but no. So my video didn't turn out very good, but at least I have the audio.

His set was about 30 minutes. Did I mention that it was amazing? :) Seriously people, if you ever get the opportunity to see Rob Rowe perform live, do it. It doesn't matter if it's with Cause and Effect or WHITEWAITS, he will amaze you. You will not be disappointed, except when it's all over.

Back to the party...We mingled for a bit (with each other.) I kept looking around for Rob to see if we could maybe talk some more and get some pictures. I caught a few glimpses of him with other people, but then he would disappear again. It was even darker inside now, so it was harder to spot him. Finally I saw him and he was heading our way. I waved to get his attention and asked if we could take a few pictures. He came over and we talked while I was digging in my giant purse trying to find the camera. I felt like such a dork. The music in the club was really loud by now and we had to scream at each other. I found the camera and Husband took a couple pictures of us. Rob wanted to see them to make sure he looked alright. Husband couldn't see the camera screen, so he just pointed it in our direction and hoped for the best. They turned out really good! I now have 2 photos of myself with Rob. I, of course, look like a fat cow, but Rob is adorable. :)

Much to our surprise, Rob stayed with us and talked for awhile! I could not believe it. I felt so dumb because I couldn't think of anything to say to him. I'm sure he thought I was a dork. Husband kept the conversation going to the best of his ability. Neither one of us is all that good at being conversational. I had thought of so many things I wanted to talk to Rob about, but could I remember them when he was right there in front of me? No. My brain just shut off. He was so close to me, and the fact that the music was so loud that we couldn't hear each other made us have to get closer. I was yelling in his ear so he could hear me. I could not believe that he was that close and he was talking to us! This had to be a dream.

I could tell that things were starting to get to that awkward place where no one can think of anything else to talk about. All I could do was stare at Rob and say, "I can't believe this is real." What a dork. Rob said he was going to go over and talk to some people, but to be sure to find him before we left so we could say goodbye. Wow! I was just over the moon.

Husband and I mingled with each other some more. It was fun just to look at all the people and make fun of how ridiculous they were. We decided that we should probably head out, so we started looking for Rob again. We found him and told him we were going to go. He said that he'd had about enough and was going to leave pretty soon too. He thanked us again for coming all that way, we hugged again, and then we left.

Did that really just happen? Did we really go to a party in Hollywood? Did I finally get to meet Rob Rowe after all these years? Did he hang around and talk to us? Wow! I was just speechless. It didn't seem real. The whole night still felt like a dream. One that I never wanted to wake up from.

But it was real. It happened. I still can't believe it. Good things like that just don't happen to me. I thought getting the opportunity to interview Rob was probably going to be the highlight of my existence. I never imagined that I would get to meet him, too. And he was so nice. He's such a sweet guy. Just absolutely adorable in every way. It was an honor and a privilege to meet him and talk to him. I hope I get to see him again.

Here it is. My photo of me and Rob! Heck with anonymity. That's me. If you recognise me, yay for you.

Speechless

Saturday night seriously left me speechless. Rob was amazing! He hugged me! We got to talk for a little while! It still feels like a dream and I don't think I want to ever wake up. 

Give me a little while to gather my thoughts and put them together into some form of coherent sentences, and I will tell you everything. I am so overwhelmed by how absolutely wonderful everything was, I am at a loss for words.

Until then, a little teaser. A photo I took on my iPod. It was really dark, so it didn't turn out great. But he was right there. Right in front of me!!!

More coming soon...

20 years, 9 months, and 17 days

Have you ever wanted something for a really long time? Have you ever gotten it? I've wanted something for 20 years, 9 months, and 17 days. Yes, I realize that's incredibly nerdy of me to figure out how long it's been, but I think it adds some perspective as to how badly I've wanted this and how long I've waited. Those numbers? They're more than half my life. That's how long I've wanted this.

So...wanna know what it is that I've wanted for so long?

Those numbers correspond to September 26, 1992. What's so special about that date, you ask? That was the first time I saw Cause and Effect. That was when my little not-so-secret-anymore crush on Rob Rowe started. The first time I realized that I just *had* to meet him. 

Things have changed a lot since then. Technology has made some amazing things possible. Rob and I have become friends on Facebook, and if you haven't noticed yet, he let me interview him for my little blog here!!! I never imagined that could ever happen! I'm still reeling with excitement from that one. Back in 1992, the only hope I had of getting anywhere near him was if by some chance C&E visited the radio station I worked at. And that never happened. Things have come a long way in 20 years, 9 months, and 17 days. And yes, that little crush is still kind of there. And yes, I still want to meet Rob.

If you read my interview with Rob thoroughly, you saw that he's doing an acoustic set at a book release party in Hollywood tonight. 

Guess where I am???

I'm writing this from a hotel room at an undisclosed location in the LA area!!! Husband and I are going to go to that party!!! I think it's kind of funny that Husband is taking me to meet the guy I've had a crush on for 20+ years. :) That's how sweet he is. That's how lucky I am. We usually go on some sort of getaway around our anniversary. This event coincided perfectly with Husband's vacation time. So with only a few days to plan, we rented a car, booked a hotel, and now we're here. We're not spontaneous like that. Ever.

So here I am, about to have a lifelong dream fulfilled, and what? I'm really scared. Not just nervous, scared. I should be excited. I am. Just excited mixed with lots of fear. Social situations are super awkward for us when we know people that are there. We're not going to know anybody at this party. Except Rob, but technically, I don't think it counts if you haven't actually met the person. I don't think I need to be afraid of Rob. He's probably pretty nervous himself. And he's been nothing but wonderful to me in all of our correspondence the last couple of years. 

One thing I'm really worried about is how I'll look. I'm overly self-conscious. I have no self-esteem. Make that negative amounts of self-esteem. I'm fat. I don't look like my Facebook profile photo because of the strategic angle it was taken in order to minimize my chins. This party is in Hollywood. People in Hollywood aren't fat. If they are, they get it sucked out and added to their lips. 

I'm so embarrassed by how I look that I've even considered not even going to the party. That's right. Totally give up on what might be my only opportunity to see my lifelong dream come true just because I don't like how I look. That's really sad isn't it? Rob isn't going to judge me, is he? I can't think that he would. But I can't get past how I judge myself. I don't know how to look in the mirror and like what I see. I've been crying so much over what should probably be the happiest occasion in my life other than my wedding. Why can't I just accept myself the way that I am? That's what my blog is all about. Being who I am - the real me. But it's hard to let her out when she doesn't feel good about herself. 

Thankfully, my desire to meet Rob is still stronger than my lack of self-confidence. And I have Xanax. I hope I can do this. Wish me luck.

I'll let you know how it all goes down. Stay tuned...

Here it is...

If you haven't already noticed the new tab at the top of the page, you might want to look. There you will find my interview with Rob Rowe!!! Please click on the tab and read it. Rob did a great job. I got to let my inner journalist out. It was fun. I still can't believe that he did this for me. I still feel like I'm dreaming. If I am, I hope I don't wake up.

Enjoy!